19 May 2022

Lifestyle: What The Act Of Letting Go Really Does To You and For You.

One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change, I know this is true because abundance is a process of letting go; remember the saying "that which is empty can receive", you have to learn to let go of things that no longer serve you or bring any sort of negative and toxic energy into your life.
Letting go of the past is not easy but it's necessary to keep the lessons it taught you because that experience will get you through some difficult times ahead.
Many times in life, we find ourselves holding on to people, memories, and beliefs even when it's breaking our hearts, I have learned that sometimes you have to give up on people, not because you don't care but because they don't and there is nothing you can do but give the gift of your absence to those that don't appreciate your presence.
In the end, only three things matter:
1. How much you loved.
2. How gently you lived.
3. How gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.
In letting go, you will definitely lose many things and people from the past. Still, you will find yourself, you will come into your own and realize you are unique in your own beautiful way, and it's okay to allow yourself to cry, I learn this every day and keep reminding myself  "It's okay to cry", crying is not a sign of weakness, it just shows you are not made of wood, it actually makes you feel good afterward.
I came across some inspiring articles recently and in one of them I saw a poster called "10 to Zen", and just reading it helped me realize, that I needed to really focus fully on myself and my mental health, yes you read that right "Mental Health".
When the word mental health is mentioned many people raise eyebrows and frown, some look at you like you have lost your mind but truly 97% of people in the world experience one mental health disorder or the other and that's okay, we all need to stop the hypocrisy and face the reality, ever since the pandemic the amount of people opening up about one mental health issue or the other is overwhelming yet liberating to see more people beginning to talk more openly about it.
Cleansing myself and my space helps me get rid of any lingering negative or toxic energy.
Below is a list of the Ten 2 Zen Quotes (I will elaborate on each point):
1. Let go of comparing: Stop comparing yourself to others, everyone is different, we all have different destinies, and people waste time trying to be like someone else or trying to do what someone else is doing because it looks cool and good without knowing the battles that person is facing, how hard it is to wake up daily and boost themselves to post or create that amazing thing you see and it makes you start comparing yourself, your skills and abilities with that person. Be your authentic self.
2. Let go of competing: I always say collaboration over competition. Choose to work with others because we rise by lifting each other up, competition sometimes breeds jealousy and animosity which is definitely energy you don't need in your life.
3. Let go of judgments: Many of us have a bachelor's degree when it comes to judging books by the cover, without fully studying the content, and understanding why things are the way they are. Never be quick to judge people, many people love the finger-pointing game or playing the victim, rather than actually taking a look in the mirror and asking themselves if they are truly on the right. Know that every action brings a reaction, so before you judge someone for a decision they make, ask yourself- what is it I probably did to make this person treat me like this?.
I have had people judge me without fully knowing or understanding me and that's okay, they don't pay my bills or feed me, yes it is hard to see people jump to conclusions about you, but if they truly should be in your life and know a lot more about you, you will see it in their actions.
4. Let go of anger: A funny way I describe anger is this "Anger is taking paracetamol for someone else's headache", many times we lose it, we scream, yell and throw a tantrum and for what? (High BP) or a splitting headache? sometimes close your eyes, take a deep breath and just let it go if it's something you can't handle. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else, remember that in that process you are the one who gets burned. You are the first victim of your own anger.
5. Let go of regrets: The past can teach us, and nurture us, but it cannot sustain us. The essence of life is change. We must move forward or the soul will wither and die, know that every experience you have gone through in life is and was beyond your control, but know that there are no coincidences, we are all having a human experience therefore we have to go through certain experiences in life and many will not be pleasant, but we must not regret these experiences ( easier said than done I know) but it's true, every day I learn that my past was there to teach me a lesson about my future and how to handle them. That's why there is a saying "Live life with no regrets".
6. Let go of worrying: One of the best lessons you can learn in life is to master how to remain calm. Life becomes easier when you let go of the unneeded stress, If it's out of your control don't let it worry you. Worry is a total waste of time because it doesn't change anything. All it does is steal your joy and keep you busy doing nothing, so when you feel Mrs. worry making her way to the frontline,  distract yourself with some music or something that makes you feel liberated and calm.
7. Let go of blame. Take responsibility for your last bad decision and then let it go. Don't blame others or make excuses for yourself. Let go of all blame because it only destroys you, to move forward with hope, love, compassion, and kindness, we have to let go of things like blame, anger, regret, and fear. You are responsible for your own actions, remember how people treat you is their karma and how you react is yours, every action brings a reaction. (My favorite saying).
8. Let go of guilt: Let go of the comparison, the worry about what was and what should be, and do something simple today by appreciating one simple thing about yourself. Know that you are doing the best you know how to do and you are doing pretty great in a lot of ways. Guilt is the worse enemy of true happiness and self-esteem. It is indeed the worst thing you can ever do to your soul. I remember I use to feel guilty for choosing my own happiness, I had to come to the realization that self-love is not selfishness, taking care of yourself is not you being selfish, it's you being happy because if you don't love yourself, how can you love anyone else, always put yourself and your happiness first no matter what.
9. Let go of fear: Now this could mean different things to each person because one person's fear is different from the other, however never let go of your dreams and happiness just let go of the fear that stops you from achieving them. It takes a lot more courage to let something go than it does to hang on to it, trying to make it better. Letting go doesn't mean ignoring a situation, letting go means accepting what is, exactly as it is without Fear, resistance, or a struggle for control.
Remember courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow".
10. Lastly, have a Long, Loud good Laugh at least once a day. Laughter is medicine for the soul, it is and will always be the best form of therapy. If you have a crazy friend who always makes you laugh by saying the craziest thing, thank the universe for such a soul and call him or her, have a laugh even at the silliest things, trust me you will start to feel better.
I must confess I had to pause a few times while typing all these because it just kept bringing up all kinds of feelings and emotions, a few tears here and there but like I have said above, it's all part of the experience.
If you resonate with this post then please do not hesitate to share it with someone out there who needs to read it.
Sending you all the brightest blessings always and please don't forget to follow me on Instagram @lindaobella.
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3 comments

Unknown said...

Wow this is a lovely piece, I have learnt a whole lot, thanks love

Aisha Maynard said...

I actually found this to be very helpful and informative, thanks for sharing ma cherie.

Margaret said...

Wow! This piece is explicit.
It actually seem like it's speaking directly to my inner soul...its deep.
Good job Linda.