Life Lessons: Knowing When To Give The Gift Of Your Absence To Those That Don't Appreciate Your Presence.

I was looking back on some of my old topics and I found a comment someone left that resonated with an experience I have had and I'd like to share some tips and advice with you all today in hope that it helps you deal with whatever situation you are faced with in relation to toxic friendships and relationships, or just that general feeling of depression due to your connection with a person or a particular situation that has left you feeling rejected or ignored.
One thing about me is this, when it comes to Self-Respect I probably have numerous awards from the universe especially when it comes to distancing myself from people who try to make me feel low or question my position in their lives and I am referring to friendships and relationships. I write this post to you as if I am writing to myself so please know that these words are meant to teach you how we should cope when we are faced with toxic situations and if in this case you are the "Toxic" person causing pain to others then this post is probably for you and I hope it makes you think about your ways before you end up losing good things in life due to your ignorance and negligence.
Never ignore a person who loves you, cares for you, checks in on you, and misses you, a person who takes time out of their day to check in on you obviously cares, because one day you might wake up and realize you lost the moon while counting the stars. Don't get me wrong there are people in the world who are nosey for the wrong reasons, some want to know if you are doing better than them and etc so know when to differentiate between an energy vampire and a real friend.
I am also fully aware of the fact that there are situations in life that happen and it prevents us from connecting or communicating with people as much as we'd like, there are instances where life and health is concerned and it could hinder a person from communicating with you but as long as they still find a way to let you know that they were incapable of reaching out to you then you know your value in that person's life, but when there is complete silence and you can clearly see that the person is okay, then you are within your own right to know where you stand in that person's life.
To you my dear reader, you who are reading this and feeling low, rejected, and ignored, know that people make time for who they want to make time for. People text, call and reply to people they want to talk to so never believe anyone who says they are too busy because if they wanted to be around you they would. People don't realize that when they are ignoring someone they are teaching the person how to live without them in their lives, so once you feel avoided by someone, never disturb them again. My favourite quote is : Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.

Some people will talk to you in their free time while some will create free time to talk to you - learn the difference. I am writing this post because I have experienced this to an extent so I am able to resonate with you if you are currently going through this, know that you are not the problem, they are! so never question yourself, never blame yourself for caring too much because you can't change who you are.
I saw a quote one day and laughed out so loud, the quote goes " I get ignored so much my name should be Terms and Conditions", It is a sad but yet funny quote because no one has to feel this way, no one ever reads "Terms and Conditions" lol.
But in a human situation, no one has to feel like this especially if they are genuinely trying to reach out to someone and they end up feeling rejected or ignored, I have been there so I can confidently tell you this- this phase will pass, this phase of you blaming yourself will pass, this phase of feeling you don't matter will pass, it will hurt for a while I will be lying if I say it won't hurt you, but it too shall pass and when you do see that person wish them well from afar but focus on your path and your life because you have done your best for them.

Lastly, do me a favor -take care of yourself. If you are happy then those who love you and are around you will feel happy. Think of your mental health first, never let anyone make you feel inferior about yourself without your consent. When someone treats you like you are just one of many options, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation. Sometimes you have to try to not care, no matter how much you do. Sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means the world to you, so removing yourself it's not about being proud, it's called self-respect. Don't expect to see positive changes in your life if you continue to surround yourself with negative-minded people. Remember not to give part-time people a full-time position in your life. Know your value and what you have to offer, but know that you must never settle for anything less than you deserve.
I love you guys so much because you make me feel at ease to think out loud and write out loud, a personal blog is like an open journal being shared with many readers, just seeing the views makes me emotional because it means I am doing something right, I am making a difference, I am using my platform to help or inspire someone in one way or the other and for this, I can only say thank you because you all make this worthwhile.

Don't forget to follow me on IG @lindaobella and please share this post with someone that may resonate with it. xo



Rosemary said...

I am happy I found your blog, I needed to hear this today 😭,It hit hard especially due to my toxic relationship with my Step Mother 😞 Tnx

Lanre Olabisi OUA said...

This article was shared on FB and I hastily clicked it and it was everything and more. Ty 🙂

K4yrt said...

Nice One 👍!!

Queen J said...

I cannot thank you enough for this write up, I feel as if you are speaking directly to my current situation and the sad thing is the girl feels no remorse for her behaviour despite how many times I have told her her flaws she assumes she is right to treat me that way.u are right I will focus on my mental health 1st before giving my precious time to an ungrateful sod

QueenToxy said...

Wow omg this is beautiful

Rosann said...

Your article hit deep in so many levels 🥺❤️🙏🏼 and I thank you for your bravery to talk about this topic. I've been in these situations with people and having the courage to let go was so tuff but like you said it is also needed. Thank you again love. 🙏🏼❤️

Kelz said...

So here is my opinion on this post, I feel it can be taking the wrong way by self entitled people but I also feel it will connect with so many individuals world wide because this is the current norm. While everyone is busy chasing the wrong things they are deliberately hurting those who really care. My ex was like this he always had the most foolish excuses but never too busy to update his FB status every minute, I am now a fan of your blog ,I read your post on ways to stay happy in life ,that was really good advice thank you and God bless

Anonymous said...

This blog really hits home...every word spelt here seemed like am hearing myself issuing a warning to me. Have once found myself in these situation which almost drew me to self pity and worthlessness before I found this article ithought something was wrong me.
But I have to give a massive THANKS to Linda for such an inspiration. This is an answer to how we could learn to apply self-respect and values to ourselves and also know when to set the boundaries

RYU.VU said...

This article is what I needed to read today ,Tnx for writing this Ms Bella 🌻💝

Anonymous said...

I love it!! That terms and conditions was hilarious omg lol … that honestly made my day.

Anonymous said...

I was feeling the same way as well.. and this helped me too.. may I ask, how are you doing now?